In the meantime...

So, to pick up where we left off yesterday-- As of July, we found out that we were knocked up and the adventrue really began.

Since that time, we jumped in head first with baby prep. Well, we kinda lazed aobut and theorized as to what we would do to prepare for the first tri-mester and then actually sprung into action around the our fourth or fifth month of pregnancy, bringing us to October. This is the time that we realized that we're actually going to be bringing home a baby. I started to show and there was no denying-- there's a baby coming.

We started to get the house together, painting and re-arranging, which has not stopped. We've painted the baby room, guest room, and kitchen. Things are really coming together! The man sold his little roadster, bye bye Z-3, and we bought a more practical 325 station wagon. Our dogs hang out in the way back and it's got a sunroof and butt warmers-- I'm pumped. The best part about it is the fact that our whole family can fit-- puppies included, but we'll see how much stuff we'll be able to take with us... we're a big brood, already!

We got our day-care provider in place. Her name is Miss Debbie and the man and I had such a great feeling when we met her. She's warm and caring and has been watching kids for more than 10 years. As anxious as I am about leaving my child, (I mean- the baby has lived inside of me for 7 months now, I feel pretty attached) I know Miss Debbie will care for our little one wonderfully!

We've recently gotten our crib and dresser/changing table and got them assembled and placed in the baby's room. It's starting to feel like we're pretty ready for the little one. I'm getting to the point where I just want to hold my baby! The jumping on my bladder and sciatic nerve pain doesn't help me to love pregnancy, but I can definitely understand why mommas are ready to meet their babies by labor day.

Hopefully, we're as ready as we feel... but who really is ready for their whole world to be turned upside-down by a tiny person? I guess we'll find out!

And so, we meet again...

After a year (plus) long hiatus, here I am. Let me tell you, this has been one serious calendar year! 2009 started slowly, not much in the way of events or news even worth discussing, but right about the middle of the year, the news was big!

I got my wisdom teeth out one lovely Saturday in July. In fact, it was July 11th that I spent the morning having my teeth extracted and the man ushered me home to sleep my recovery away for the next day or so. It is worth mentioning that Rob was a great nurse, even though he was pulled back to work for the open house that day, but Rocky was a very attentive nurse-maid. I slept downstairs in the big, comfy arm-chair that night and my buddy didn't leave my side. Zoey and the man carried on the normal routine and went upstairs at a reasonable hour to slumber in our room, but the man moved Rocky's bed right next to my chair and he stayed there with me all night. Every time I would wake up feeling a twinge of pain, he would put his head on the arm of the chair to check on me. I would pop another half of a pain pill... the good stuff... and doze back to sleep, all the while- under the watchful eye of our furry baby boy.

I made it through Sunday with various liquid foods prepared for me by the man, and even got to sleep in my own bed Sunday night. Luckily, I had the foresight to take Monday off, so as the man was getting ready for work, I decided to make use of my morning trip to the loo.

Let me preface this by saying, I had been thinking that I should take a pregnancy test at some point for about a week prior, but decided that Monday, July 13th would be the day to test. I didn't warn Rob or even hint to him that I had been thinking I should take a test... we'd been jinxed in the past by getting our hopes up a little too much. So, in secret, I took a pregnancy test. And passed. The stick said, "Pregnant." And I said nothing. I sort of gasped and then thought... "Should I tell the man before he goes to work, or chew on this all day and then tell him this evening?" This thought passed quickly as Rob and I don't do secrets very well. I hurried down the stairs and only got to the bottom before I said, "Rob--" He poked his head around the wall in the kitchen asking "Yeah?" And I said, "I'm pregnant." He moved quite quickly over to me at the bottom of the stairs and said, "What?" I repeated myself and held out the capped stick to prove my statement. He took it from me with one hand and moved the other to his forehead, saying, "Oh my God." I sat down on the steps and we both cried a few happy tears through giant smiles. We hugged and kissed (gently... I had just had my wisdom teeth out, you know) and our minds raced together through pregnancy, delivery, parenthood, and all things baby. At one point, I think I even said, "Here we go."

The man left for work after a few very long minutes and I settled in downstairs to watch "A Baby Story" all day and call the doctor. Neither of us did much thinking about anything but this little growing offspring all day and we were on our way. We figured that we were about 5 weeks along at that point, scheduled our first doctor's appointment for 10 weeks and started talking about when to tell our parents and families. We waited two weeks to tell our parents; at 7 weeks, we shared the news and everyone was very excited to hear that a little baby was on the way!

Needless to say, we're very excited to be parents! I can't believe in a few short months, I will be a mom. I'm getting back into the blogging thing because I think I'll have more to say as the days carry on. I'll try my best to keep the updates, coming-- I'll fill in the gap between then and now tomorrow!

for Rob.

In order to make up for lost time I'm going to condense a couple of Thanks into each post here on out, but I think the man should get his own. Rob's birthday was Tuesday, December 2nd, so that day (and many other days, i promise) I was sooo thankful for him.

His rugged good looks are just the beginning. I have never met someone like him before. He is so charming, funny and caring. He has this way about him that puts me completely at ease.

Unlike with Rocky, I was very skeptical when I first met Rob. He was a charmer and a ladies man and he was able to make the ladies swoon with the curl of his smile. He had a reputation on campus and I knew about him far before he knew about me. I was very resistant to date him and thought that maybe we would be better off as friends. A couple of years later, and he's my husband.

I am confident that everything happens for a reason and I also whole-heartedly agree that life is what happens when you're making plans-- And I can't imagine what I've done to be so lucky in this life. I'm thankful that Rob came into my life and refused to leave. Because, now, I refuse to leave his life. I can't imagine my life without him and I love him everyday.

Thanks... for Rocky

This time of year makes me so thankful for everything and everyone that I have in my life. I've decided to actually put those thanks into words and pictures and see how the act of expressing my thanks impacts my life. It may do nothing, it may simply be my little joy in the evening to give thanks for some part of my charmed life... or, it will make each day a tiny bit more joyous for me. I believe that the idea was first ingrained by Oprah, who else, with her Gratitude Journal. Some days, it may be thanks, some may be gratitude. But, the intent is there.

Happy December 1st. It's one of my favorite days of the year. Today, I am most thankful for Rocky.

I know, I know, Zoey came first, but there's something about Rocky's personality that has made the last 6 months that we've had him so fun and energetic. He's smart, very smart. And the worst part, is he is smart in a mischievous sort of way. He's a rascal and he knows it. But, he loves us just a little more than defies us, which is positive. He loves to socialize, whether it is wrestling with Zoey or the man, or cuddling with me.

He's started this cute new greeting custom that I love. Now, he used to be a "jump on you the minute you hit the doorway" sort of dog. He's very springy, and it is quite embarrassing to have to yell at your dog while lovingly greeting your guests. So, as we've broken him of his jumping habit, he's, in turn, started to walk through your legs when you come in. He pushes his way through your legs so that you can pet him and then he spins around and come back through again. I'm sure it bothers some-- they probably think, "I wish these people would get control of their dog. I don't want dog hair all over my pants!" But, I love it. So, blame me, not him.

He's a very cute pup and pretty well mannered for 9 months old. In short, I'm thankful for him. We rescued him from a local rescue on a spur of the moment sort of afternoon and I've questioned whether we should have gotten him in the past. But, today, right now, I'm so happy to have him. I'm thankful for Rocky.

The Return of Television

Last night marked the return of a favorite show of mine- The Office.

It's back full force and the man, of course, had the DVR set and ready to go. Generally, the man and I would grab some grub and park in front of the television for such an exciting evening of prime-time TV, but, we were unable to do so last night. Being that he is a traveling salesman for St. Mary's College (yes, an Admissions Counselor), he was off to Hagerstown last night for two business engagements this morning. I was left to watch TV all on my own and did not pay nearly as much attention to The Office as I had intended. I'm easily distracted, what can I say?

With The Office safely recording onto the DVR, I focused my attention onto Survivor.

Weird, I know. I haven't watched Survivor since it first came out in 2000- My brother and I would bond over the tribal councils and guessing who would be the ultimate survivor! I quickly lost interest after the first season and, to be honest, haven't missed it one bit. But, drawn by the 2 hour season premier of Survivor: Gabon, I parked there for the evening. It's a great concept and I think it's a very well done show-- I found myself caught up in who would be forming alliances with who and wondering if one tribe would be better off with fewer people as they were voting tribe members home. I know, not just wonder, but I know that I would fail miserably at Survivor. I like my warm bed; I like my lazy desk job; I like being able to go to the store to get my dinner. I would not like "surviving." I am sure of it.

The only reality show that I think I would dig is The Amazing Race. I think the man and I would do so well on the Amazing Race. We balance each other very well and we do, after all, have some experience with that type of thing. We participated in The Great Urban Race in DC in early August.

Granted, we were there with my brother, Andrew; my future sister in law, Kourtney; Kourtney's sister, Kristi; and Kristi's husband, Jason. We come up against a case of too many cooks in the kitchen-- but I think Rob and I would have excelled had it been just the two of us. We are a good team. Now, we may have very loud discussions, but we are a very logical couple, which seems to be the basis of our relationship. Yes, we are very much in love, but our relationship is so strong because we're able to reason with one another while considering the emotions one another is feeling as well. And, what would make our Amazing Race team that much better is our knowledge of one another's strengths and weaknesses (and our own ability to be honest with ourselves). For example, Rob would be the eater on our team. He's got that under control, both in quantity and in grossness. He'll eat anything-- for real. He's also got the brut strength thing going for him. He's one large, strong man and if I, being the little girl, was to become tired, he could just pick me up and go on about his businees. He's impressive, I know. I, on the other hand, would do the organizing-- the plotting of destinations, the keeping of the maps and paperwork, and the first aide/mothering of the team. We would rock some Amazing Race!

If the man had been home last night, I would have watched the Office like I was supposed to and I would have avoided Survivor: Gabon all together. Now, he's going to have to suffer through the viewing of this show, cause I'm hooked. Maybe he should have stayed home, like I told him to!

Settling In

We have commenced, and continued, the painting. The man and I have started painting and decorating our house after moving in ten months ago... It's been a while that we've not had paint on the walls, but in our defense, we've had a lot going on. Wedding, jobs, dogs, various other events, etc. We've finally reached that point where we have not only the energy, but a bit of cash as well, to do some decorating.


I'm amazed at how symbolic the painting of our walls has been. It's finally starting to feel like ours. To chose the color, layout and decor of a place that is all your own (or our own, as the case may be) has made our house feel more like home than it ever has before. The last ten months that we've spent here has seemed like a temporary lease, and now it feels like our home. I'm so content to spend my days dreaming of do-it-yourself weekends and plan the next project I'd like to get started on or complete, even! Imagine... completing a home improvement project that is all our own... what a wonderful thing. I'm so content and I can finally say that this house feels like home.

Cheers.

Motherhood.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been batting around the idea of motherhood. I'm not announcing a pregnancy or anything- we're not there yet, but I've been chewing on that concept of motherhood. It's such an interesting thing--- you actually create a person and then assume responsibility for it's well-being. You teach it everything--- all things that fall outside the realm of instinctual. It's an amazing feat and I continue to fail at wrapping my brain around the possibility.

But, the reason for this post is that I'm just one person in this grand network of mothers and children. I am minute and my own concerns or excitement are not unique to me. I am simply the next generation of women to explore the prospect of motherhood.

The man and I have talked quite a bit about babies in our short little marriage. He's quite enthusiastic--- He's ready to make a baby and raise it up. He's ready for a family and ready to be a Dad. I fall a little more in love with him every time he says it because his passion for family life is something that I've always seen in him, even when he was making an utter fool of himself drinking to oblivion (oh how I miss college!). In fact, his family values are the third biggest reason that I married him.

You see, I have this superhuman ability to read people. I can tell who is pretending to be an asshole and who's pretending not to be one. And I can mentally sift through all the macho man (big man on campus, in his case) attitude to discover those exact things that you're hoping I can't see. I've done it for so long and it's served me very well. You can't fool me, no one ever has. I've never been heartbroken or stumped by friends. I've always been able to understand their innermost feelings, even when they're not even sure of what they're feeling. the only other person I've ever known to do this is my mom. But, she claims it's a gift she only has for her children. I can call her and pretend to feel one way about any issue and she wastes no time in calling me on my bullshit. She says that it has something to do with carrying in your womb and raising children from day 1. She says there's no one I could hide my true feelings from her-- I've stopped trying.


Whereas I have no children, save the four legged, furry ones that I love so much, this isn't a gift that has come from motherhood. I've always had it-- and now that I think about it, I've always mothered. As the eldest daughter in a family of five, a combination of factors put me in the "mini-mom" position from very early in my life. I have three little sisters, who are very much like dolls to a young girl, and two parents who had to work quite a bit to support this large and in charge brood. Therefore, by the time my youngest sister was born in 1995, I was a 10 year old mini-mom. I changed more diapers than did my father and was giving bottles like a champ. By the time I was in high school, I was getting home from practice after school, preparing dinner and providing rides to girl scouts or birthday parties, making sure homework was done and teeth brushed, reading bedtime stories and singing lullabyes to soothe little ones to sleep. And then, only then, completing my homework and chatting with friends about our highly dramatic days.

Don't confuse my tone, I knew nothing else when I was growing up. I enjoyed my childhood and always felt as though I had as much fun, if not more, than all my friends. But, I've mothered since I was very young. My mom and I often think back on the "olden days" and remember things together like when Patty had chicken pox or when Maggie and Katie would refuse to get dressed after their evening baths and read stories to one another. It's in me and it always has been.

Even in looking through a box of old memories that my mom had found (and pulled out for me to take to my own house to store away for another 5 years and beyond) I found an award I got my Junior year of High School from the coaches on my lacrosse team. I was awarded "The Team Mom Award." I kept everyone together and solved the disputes while making no enemies of my own.

And then I met the man and I mother him as well. And the funny thing is, he doesn't really mind it. I don't follow him around telling him to clean his room, mind you, but I remind him of things and make him cookies and he seems to really like the love that I give him. That's a good thing, I guess.

...And all of this is brought up because I am acutely aware of all things motherhood now-a-days. I see little Bambis all over the place as I'm driving around the county and I stumble upon "A Baby Story" on TLC when I've exhausted everything saved on our DVR. And, more importantly, I hit the "Next Blog" button at the top of the blogspot page and I come across real couples with real families that chronicle their trials and tribulations of parenthood. I've come across a couple who have been going through the adoption process for 2 years after learning of their infertility. I've read a blog of a couple who just lost their little boy after 16 months of struggle with his many health problems. I continue to be reminded of the joy and pain-- the miracle of motherhood and childbirth-- and how some people may never give birth to a baby despite their desire to do so. And how nothing is ever a sure thing.

I spend so much time counting months and planning out how I'd like my life to look, but the fact of the matter is, what's the fun in planning? I said that the man's desire for a family is the 3rd biggest reason I married him. Well, the first is the way he loves me-- including the amount of love he showers on me daily--- but, the second reason I married him is his ability to jump right in with both feet. He is not a planner, not an over-analyzer, like me. He decides what he wants and he goes for it... with very little regard for outcome or consequences. Dangerous, yes. But, with our powers combined-- we are a strong, loving, logical, free-spirited, parenthood team. So, maybe we'll dive right in and let the fates decide when we'll be lucky enough to bring a little one into the world.

I think life is feeling a little too calm, I'm ready for some chaos-- cheers.